deciphering the days

Every couple of years or so, one of my high school students will ask me, "What is love?" Despite being with my husband for ten years, I've never had a good answer.  "Love is a person not a place." "Love is when home becomes a person." "Love is when you care about someone else more than yourself." "Love is choice." When students ask me, I always freeze a little, am uncertain how to answer, and end up spouting some platitudes or maybe admitting that I don't know.  Many people have asked that question for many years. The arts often express the emotions and thoughts of love through songs, poetry, paintings, and dancing. But I still don't know how to answer.  Last week, two students were asking me how I knew I was in love with my husband, specifically the first time I knew I was in love.  When my husband proposed to me, it wasn't a surprise. We were talking about getting married, had a to-do list google document shared betwee...

"I regret getting into education." I said that the other day. While sitting with a fellow teacher and lamenting the state of education, the state of my classroom, the lack of sleep from dreaming about work, and the search for a new job. Maybe regret isn't the right word. I like the other teachers at my school and I have made friends. I like the chemistry curriculum that I have built over the years. I know I've made a substantial impact on many of my students. I have been paid well and was able to buy a car and a house. I have loved my undergrad and graduate education classes.  But the road to education started a long time ago, for me. And sometimes I wish I would have diverted sooner.  I hate the phrase 'those who can't do, teach.' Sometimes I wonder if that's how I am perceived. Sometimes that's what I think of myself.  I want someone to ask me if I am a teacher and I respond with a 'no.'  **** Age 13-18 I was a mentor teacher with the loc...

Things I'm going to say to my principal tomorrow when I quit my job: *update, the things I actually said are bolded* Two years into teaching, I regretted joining the profession. I went back to school and got a masters in curriculum design. Covid hit while I was getting my masters. It bought me time in the classroom. It is now about two years out of Covid, this is year six of teaching. And I am regretting joining the profession.  When I thought about teaching chemistry, I didn't realize that  planning to teach chemistry and teaching chemistry was only about 10% of  what I actually got to do. The other 90% is spent dealing with discipline, testing, new initiatives, new programs, duty stations, social-emotional learning, registration, professional development, IEP meetings, 504 meetings, course team meetings, district meetings, certification meetings, on-boarding the new person for the fifth year in a row, etc. etc.  I never considered the fact that most of the students...

 I turned thirty! And it was as I predicted, quite thankfully.  No mid-life crisis. No guilt over the things I haven't done or the person I haven't become. No desire to cling to twenty-nine.  I saw an internet statement (can't find it now) that said a thirty-year-old is only a ten-year-old adult. If twenty is the age where we become "adults" (cause eighteen is still pretty young, but you can count it if you want), then we haven't been adults for very long. I'm only a ten-year-old adult. I have accomplished a lot in a mere ten years. I have changed a lot. There is still a lot to do, but it's exciting! Not weighing me down or depressing me. I can't do everything, and I don't want to. I will pick a few more things and enjoy them in the next few years.  So here's to being thirty and being ten and living a life that I like.