what is love

Every couple of years or so, one of my high school students will ask me, "What is love?"

Despite being with my husband for ten years, I've never had a good answer. 

"Love is a person not a place."

"Love is when home becomes a person."

"Love is when you care about someone else more than yourself."

"Love is choice."

When students ask me, I always freeze a little, am uncertain how to answer, and end up spouting some platitudes or maybe admitting that I don't know. 

Many people have asked that question for many years. The arts often express the emotions and thoughts of love through songs, poetry, paintings, and dancing. But I still don't know how to answer. 

Last week, two students were asking me how I knew I was in love with my husband, specifically the first time I knew I was in love. 

When my husband proposed to me, it wasn't a surprise. We were talking about getting married, had a to-do list google document shared between the two of us, and had already started the invite list. I spent a lot of time wondering what love was, wondering if we had what it took to stay married and stay in love, and wondering if we were really ready to commit to marriage. 

Somewhere since then and now, I found an answer. When my students asked, "What is love?", this is what I said:

"You know you love someone when you don't even care if you might get divorced one day. It's worth it. Like if someone is about to propose to someone else, and a genie from the future pops up and says that you will be divorced in ten years. If you don't love that person, you decided not to get married; it's not worth it if you will just end up divorced. But if you do love that person, you don't care. You're willing to take that chance. To face the bad days. After all, maybe they're wrong. You're willing to fight, even if the odds are against you. The threat of bad days in the future can't scare you away from the goodness in front of you."

I wonder if the Christian church would disagree with my description. In my experience, they usually ignore the possibility of divorce, and frown on those who accept it. I feel like the Christian answer must say that divorce is never an option. But I always worry what the church thinks of me. I wonder what God thinks of that description? 

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