tidying
I want to have a space where I fit comfortably, both body and mind.
I do not feel that I have ever experienced any significant level of comfort from my environment. Of course, like most people, I do own a couple of items that always make me feel better in a 'security blanket' manner. However, it is always a struggle to find them in the midst of the crowded atmosphere that has always been my house. Unnecessary stressors significantly outnumber the happy items. Maybe this is due to the lack of cleanliness and/or the excess items that surround me, and the people I have lived with, but regardless as to why, I never thought my house could be a source of pleasure, comfort, and energy. But maybe it can. I want to have a space where I fit comfortably, both in body and mind. For the first time, I have my own place, for Husband and me (yay us!!). Perhaps we can make our house a happy place.
I want our belongings to be important and to fit comfortably within our home. No more forcing. I cannot live comfortably when my stuff is cramped, and I do not think Husband can either. I feel like if there isn't any space for my pencil in the pencil jar, then there probably isn't any room for me at the desk. And if there isn't any space for my food in the pantry, then there probably isn't any room for us to enjoy a well-prepared dinner together.
Since moving to our new house (two weeks?), my life is infinitely better, simply by living with the one I love, and who loves me. It is such a comfort to have someone eat dinner with me. To share the days with, and to say 'goodnight' to, and just mean that I am falling asleep in his arms. I am very grateful to be with him. And not only do I want us to be comfortable with each other, but I want us to be comfortable in our home. I want us to take ownership of our possessions and control of our home. I want our space to be a reflection of who we are, as individuals and as a couple. Our visitors should see the same home we do, None of this, "Yikes! Someone is coming - Quick! Stuff everything in a closet and don't let them think we are unclean!"
I want to live in contentment. I do not want to live in a worldly excess where 'it' is never enough nor good enough. The more things I have, the less sure I am about what I want and about my likes and dislikes. I get overwhelmed with the options. As a result, I become confused about what is Husband's and my 'style' versus the style of every person that has ever passed through our lives.
What do we like?
What do we want?
Having just moved in together, this is a wonderful time for us to figure out - but at the moment we are so swamped with years of collected bits and pieces, gifts, and yard-sale finds, that we don't even know what specifically is ours or what we care about. I do not want my house to be a stressor. I want my house to be simplistic and authentic.
So what brought all of this on? We both know that we are unorganized and have accumulated a lot of...stuff. Okay, junk. We have a lot of junk that does not make us happy. And yet we keep it.
Husband found a book. "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo. It is "the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing" and has greatly increased in popularity here in the states. We have started reading it together in the evenings. At the moment, when our innumerable possessions are in unmanageable boxes that cover every single inch of floor space in our house, we are ready to take a dramatic vow of poverty. Instead, we may dedicate this book to memory. Just kidding. Sorta. But as we continue reading, we are strongly encouraged to try this method - for real! Not the halfhearted, I-will-do-the-part-I-want, but rather follow her instructions to the letter. The worse that can happen is that we are at least a little more organized and had some fun together.
But then again, we may unpack, see that it all mostly fits, and become happily busy with our newly-wed life and no longer concerned with the mass quantity of our possessions until we move again. We shall see.
UPDATE: 2/5/17
Here is our vision:
We want everything to fit and to still have space. We want to differentiate between needs and wants, with more fulfilled needs and less superficial wants. We want to be specific and deliberate with our hobbies - which will mean deciding which hobbies to keep and pursue and which ones to toss.
We have started with Hubby's clothes - shirts, pants, hangers, dry-cleaner bags, and trash bags pile in our new bedroom floor!! So it begins!
...
After his, we went through mine in the same evening. In total, we gathered two white trash bags (13 gallon) and two black trash bags (39 gallon) of just clothes, and I had already discarded many articles of clothing before moving (2 white bags maybe?). Wow...
UPDATE: 2/6/17
Here are some more thoughts on possessions:
Everything we own costs us something. We eventually have to clean it, store it, move it, or find a home for it. Absolutely everything we own costs us something. Does it give us anything useful in return?
Thoughts: Sometime I get this weird notion that if I don't want an item of pseudo-value, then I cannot simply donate it to goodwill. I must seek out an individual, worthy of this item, so that they may carry on it's legacy - eliminating all chances that this item will ever fall by the wayside. Why? Why do I carry responsibility for the future of items that are not of worth to me and that are not actually worthy of all the attention I give them. This behavior could perhaps be justified if the item was a family heirloom. It's not. It's my old sportswear.
More Thoughts: Sometimes during this process, I get lost in what brings joy and what doesn't. So I ask myself, 'Would I pay 50 cents and wait three minutes in line for this exact item?' When the answer is 'no,' there is no possible way that it brings me enough joy to keep it in my life.
UPDATE: 2/7/17
I went through my books, though didn't do quite as well here. I kept a lot of my school notes. Having just graduated, and not sure what I am doing next, I really hesitated to get rid of the mounds of scribbled notes and accompanying textbooks. However, a very large stack of fiction and nonfiction reads found their way out of my house - so it was by no means a failure.
UPDATE: 2/20/17
Hubby has gone through his books and we are ready for another goodwill trip! Yay! However, I have similar feelings about his 'book' success as mine. We both enjoy intellectual stimulation and find it hard to get rid of 'potential.' There is still a floor-to-ceiling bookcase filled with books, but that is substantially less than the TWO floor-to-ceiling bookcases. Hubby is also a little bummed that many of his books are in storage at his parents from his time overseas. Which means he has to do this process again, and it will likely be Christmas before we make it back to his parent's.
Also, I have been surprised at the number of things that are not ours. We have a large stack accumulating by the front door that is to be delivered throughout the state to various people's homes. This stack also has a much slower turn-around as we have to contact the person, see if they still want the item, then make a time to see that person or to mail it to them. Uhg.
UPDATE: 2/21/17
I am holding off on the paperwork until hubby can help me out, so I moved on to all of my art supplies. I am an 'artsy' person and I definitely own more art stuff than anything else. Therefore, I had to separate into subcategories if there was any hope of completion. I started and completed going through my sewing things - from fabric to buttons to safety pins. So. Much. Stuff. I am continually astounded by the shear quantity and redundancy of my possessions...
UPDATE: 3/22/17
Wow...has it really been almost a month since I updated last? Well anyway here is where we are: Hubby and I have almost finished the book (about twenty pages left). The last few chapters have inspired us to do the rest of the book. After reading the section about why we won't discard items and how we let fear control our actions, I went back to my books and got rid of several more that I wanted to want to read. I like the idea of so many things, and I keep them all, whether I actually like them or not...Well... Not anymore!
Over the last month I have gone through almost all of my komono. It still needs refinement, and as I unpack boxes and sort through bags, I find items belonging to komono subcategories that I already went through which is a little discouraging, but not too bad. Also, despite our newlywed's new idea that it is all 'ours,' I still can't bring myself to get rid of Hubby's miscellaneous items that are now 'ours' (think like medical supplies, art supplies - nothing personal to him, per se). That has slowed us down a little and is slightly ridiculous (so if we have five pairs of scissors, we keep the best two and get rid of the rest, but I always ask before getting rid of his rinky-dink and rusted scissors he didn't know he had).
Also. I have this strong urge to finish cleaning up and out. Like something is coming. I need to get this done quickly, before....? Before 'what' I am not sure...
I do not feel that I have ever experienced any significant level of comfort from my environment. Of course, like most people, I do own a couple of items that always make me feel better in a 'security blanket' manner. However, it is always a struggle to find them in the midst of the crowded atmosphere that has always been my house. Unnecessary stressors significantly outnumber the happy items. Maybe this is due to the lack of cleanliness and/or the excess items that surround me, and the people I have lived with, but regardless as to why, I never thought my house could be a source of pleasure, comfort, and energy. But maybe it can. I want to have a space where I fit comfortably, both in body and mind. For the first time, I have my own place, for Husband and me (yay us!!). Perhaps we can make our house a happy place.
I want our belongings to be important and to fit comfortably within our home. No more forcing. I cannot live comfortably when my stuff is cramped, and I do not think Husband can either. I feel like if there isn't any space for my pencil in the pencil jar, then there probably isn't any room for me at the desk. And if there isn't any space for my food in the pantry, then there probably isn't any room for us to enjoy a well-prepared dinner together.
Since moving to our new house (two weeks?), my life is infinitely better, simply by living with the one I love, and who loves me. It is such a comfort to have someone eat dinner with me. To share the days with, and to say 'goodnight' to, and just mean that I am falling asleep in his arms. I am very grateful to be with him. And not only do I want us to be comfortable with each other, but I want us to be comfortable in our home. I want us to take ownership of our possessions and control of our home. I want our space to be a reflection of who we are, as individuals and as a couple. Our visitors should see the same home we do, None of this, "Yikes! Someone is coming - Quick! Stuff everything in a closet and don't let them think we are unclean!"
I want to live in contentment. I do not want to live in a worldly excess where 'it' is never enough nor good enough. The more things I have, the less sure I am about what I want and about my likes and dislikes. I get overwhelmed with the options. As a result, I become confused about what is Husband's and my 'style' versus the style of every person that has ever passed through our lives.
What do we like?
What do we want?
Having just moved in together, this is a wonderful time for us to figure out - but at the moment we are so swamped with years of collected bits and pieces, gifts, and yard-sale finds, that we don't even know what specifically is ours or what we care about. I do not want my house to be a stressor. I want my house to be simplistic and authentic.
So what brought all of this on? We both know that we are unorganized and have accumulated a lot of...stuff. Okay, junk. We have a lot of junk that does not make us happy. And yet we keep it.
Husband found a book. "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" by Marie Kondo. It is "the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing" and has greatly increased in popularity here in the states. We have started reading it together in the evenings. At the moment, when our innumerable possessions are in unmanageable boxes that cover every single inch of floor space in our house, we are ready to take a dramatic vow of poverty. Instead, we may dedicate this book to memory. Just kidding. Sorta. But as we continue reading, we are strongly encouraged to try this method - for real! Not the halfhearted, I-will-do-the-part-I-want, but rather follow her instructions to the letter. The worse that can happen is that we are at least a little more organized and had some fun together.
But then again, we may unpack, see that it all mostly fits, and become happily busy with our newly-wed life and no longer concerned with the mass quantity of our possessions until we move again. We shall see.
UPDATE: 2/5/17
Here is our vision:
We want everything to fit and to still have space. We want to differentiate between needs and wants, with more fulfilled needs and less superficial wants. We want to be specific and deliberate with our hobbies - which will mean deciding which hobbies to keep and pursue and which ones to toss.
We have started with Hubby's clothes - shirts, pants, hangers, dry-cleaner bags, and trash bags pile in our new bedroom floor!! So it begins!
...
After his, we went through mine in the same evening. In total, we gathered two white trash bags (13 gallon) and two black trash bags (39 gallon) of just clothes, and I had already discarded many articles of clothing before moving (2 white bags maybe?). Wow...
UPDATE: 2/6/17
Here are some more thoughts on possessions:
Everything we own costs us something. We eventually have to clean it, store it, move it, or find a home for it. Absolutely everything we own costs us something. Does it give us anything useful in return?
Thoughts: Sometime I get this weird notion that if I don't want an item of pseudo-value, then I cannot simply donate it to goodwill. I must seek out an individual, worthy of this item, so that they may carry on it's legacy - eliminating all chances that this item will ever fall by the wayside. Why? Why do I carry responsibility for the future of items that are not of worth to me and that are not actually worthy of all the attention I give them. This behavior could perhaps be justified if the item was a family heirloom. It's not. It's my old sportswear.
More Thoughts: Sometimes during this process, I get lost in what brings joy and what doesn't. So I ask myself, 'Would I pay 50 cents and wait three minutes in line for this exact item?' When the answer is 'no,' there is no possible way that it brings me enough joy to keep it in my life.
UPDATE: 2/7/17
I went through my books, though didn't do quite as well here. I kept a lot of my school notes. Having just graduated, and not sure what I am doing next, I really hesitated to get rid of the mounds of scribbled notes and accompanying textbooks. However, a very large stack of fiction and nonfiction reads found their way out of my house - so it was by no means a failure.
UPDATE: 2/20/17
Hubby has gone through his books and we are ready for another goodwill trip! Yay! However, I have similar feelings about his 'book' success as mine. We both enjoy intellectual stimulation and find it hard to get rid of 'potential.' There is still a floor-to-ceiling bookcase filled with books, but that is substantially less than the TWO floor-to-ceiling bookcases. Hubby is also a little bummed that many of his books are in storage at his parents from his time overseas. Which means he has to do this process again, and it will likely be Christmas before we make it back to his parent's.
Also, I have been surprised at the number of things that are not ours. We have a large stack accumulating by the front door that is to be delivered throughout the state to various people's homes. This stack also has a much slower turn-around as we have to contact the person, see if they still want the item, then make a time to see that person or to mail it to them. Uhg.
UPDATE: 2/21/17
I am holding off on the paperwork until hubby can help me out, so I moved on to all of my art supplies. I am an 'artsy' person and I definitely own more art stuff than anything else. Therefore, I had to separate into subcategories if there was any hope of completion. I started and completed going through my sewing things - from fabric to buttons to safety pins. So. Much. Stuff. I am continually astounded by the shear quantity and redundancy of my possessions...
UPDATE: 3/22/17
Wow...has it really been almost a month since I updated last? Well anyway here is where we are: Hubby and I have almost finished the book (about twenty pages left). The last few chapters have inspired us to do the rest of the book. After reading the section about why we won't discard items and how we let fear control our actions, I went back to my books and got rid of several more that I wanted to want to read. I like the idea of so many things, and I keep them all, whether I actually like them or not...Well... Not anymore!
Over the last month I have gone through almost all of my komono. It still needs refinement, and as I unpack boxes and sort through bags, I find items belonging to komono subcategories that I already went through which is a little discouraging, but not too bad. Also, despite our newlywed's new idea that it is all 'ours,' I still can't bring myself to get rid of Hubby's miscellaneous items that are now 'ours' (think like medical supplies, art supplies - nothing personal to him, per se). That has slowed us down a little and is slightly ridiculous (so if we have five pairs of scissors, we keep the best two and get rid of the rest, but I always ask before getting rid of his rinky-dink and rusted scissors he didn't know he had).
Also. I have this strong urge to finish cleaning up and out. Like something is coming. I need to get this done quickly, before....? Before 'what' I am not sure...
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