deciphering the days

Do I get this risqué? Do I say these thoughts? Or do I always leave this post as a draft? ******* At this age and stage of life, most of my friends are married. But there was a time where I was going to back-to-back bridal showers and engagement parties. A common party activity was to write a note to the soon-to-be newlyweds, giving them advice on marriage.  My husband and I dated for four years and have been married for five. So at the time of all these parties, I didn't know much about marriage (not that I do now) and, per my usual social anxiety, I could never think of ANYTHING to write on those dumb cards.  'Don't go to bed angry.' 'Write each other love notes.' 'The couple who prays together, stays together.' Um...no. Absolutely not. I will not be writing those things. But I could never think of anything better. Until now.  Now I would say to the women (assuming I have the courage), "do not feel guilty, live and learn, and talk to each other....

There has always been a societal pressure for my husband and I to procreate. When we say we are not ready, the responses range from "you will be soon" to "no one ever is, you just do it anyway." But what if we aren't ready because we aren't going to get ready? As an adolescent, my mother regularly left me to tend to the younger children (to the extreme amount). I fed them, bathed them, watched them learn to crawl and walk, listened to their first words, taught them my name was 'sis' and not 'mom,' taught them to read and play games. My mother crowed about how she was teaching me responsibility and that "babysitting is the best form of birth control." Well maybe it was.  Here I am, about to turn thirty, without even a whisper of plans for children.  Occasional we are reminded that we will regret it if we don't have kids. For instance, who will care for us when we are older? And isn't it important to us to keep the family name...

It has been two years since I posted. Since I wrote.  I told myself that Covid was not affecting me that strongly. I don't mind wearing a mask. I'm not anxious about the vaccine. I am not very social anyway so there were only a couple of events cancelled that I cared about. The Kentucky Derby, my overseas trip, a family reunion or two.  Teaching digitally was what it was. Not my favorite, but it gave me enough time to complete a Master's degree. A lot of experimental learning was lost, but most of the chemistry content was translated to a digital platform. I was proud of my curriculum, and it felt infinitely superior to the chemistry lessons in my homeschool "course." It's been two years now and Covid is still around. I received a call from my school district saying we are still wearing masks, at least for now. That's fine - I don't mind. Life hasn't changed that much for me.  But I haven't written since a month or so after Covid first came int...

Why is it that the toilet paper is gone? It's a respiratory disease.  And the cleaning supplies. Though this one sorta makes sense. And the pasta. Like...why. And frozen veggies. You didn't eat them before, why now? And seasonings. Ya'll finally figured out you need more than just salt and pepper? And vegetable oil. I mean, I know we are in the south and we fry everything...but...all of it? And why the dried beans?!?! Sure they will keep a while, but do you city slickers even know those things gotta soak over night? How about the milk? Can ya'll explain that one? I know your kids are home now and putting that on their cereal instead of eating at school - but are you buying a gallon per kid?!? It doesn't even keep! The list goes on and on. And most of the time it's funny. But sometimes it's not. Stop with the masks and gloves. I have a brother who is a nurse and a mother who is a doctor. And they don't have what they need. Can ...