no room for thoughts

It has been two years since I posted. Since I wrote. 

I told myself that Covid was not affecting me that strongly. I don't mind wearing a mask. I'm not anxious about the vaccine. I am not very social anyway so there were only a couple of events cancelled that I cared about. The Kentucky Derby, my overseas trip, a family reunion or two. 

Teaching digitally was what it was. Not my favorite, but it gave me enough time to complete a Master's degree. A lot of experimental learning was lost, but most of the chemistry content was translated to a digital platform. I was proud of my curriculum, and it felt infinitely superior to the chemistry lessons in my homeschool "course."

It's been two years now and Covid is still around. I received a call from my school district saying we are still wearing masks, at least for now. That's fine - I don't mind.

Life hasn't changed that much for me. 

But I haven't written since a month or so after Covid first came into my life. Two years ago. 

Granted I've been busy:

  • Buying a car. 
  • Starting and completing a Master's program. 
  • Buying a house. 
  • Painting the entire interior of the house. 
  • Moving.
  • Getting a second cat.
  • Learning that I love to read.
  • Reading more fictional books in the last two years then maybe my whole life.

All good stuff. All reasons for not having time to sit around and blog my thoughts. 

But probably not the reasons.

It's been two years since I had enough mental whitespace to string together thoughts. 

To sit around and occupy my mind with things other than the world events. 

To feel in control enough to breakdown. 

To unpack my childhood traumas.

It's okay though. I am doing it now, and I have a lot to write about. Maybe one of the posts will be about how Covid really did affect me.

It also helps to know that I am not alone. Blogger has not updated their spellcheck in two years. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

misconception of failure

So I am talking to a friend the other day who is in quite a difficult spot right now. Her family is falling apart, abusive to her, publically humiliates her, and generally makes her life miserable. She is a new Christian. They are not. You can see the Spirit working in her as she has such a passion for showing them the life she has come to know. But it never seems to make a difference and at the end of the day she is discouraged. "...maybe I should have said something different..." "...maybe I provoked it..." "...it is so hard to be a change when I am right back in the situation where everything was so awful..." "...I feel like such a failure..." These are the things she says to me. And I relate and sympathize with all of them. However, last time we were talking about this, the Holy Spirit put into words what I have been trying to learn for so very long. When I think that I am a failure and that the Lord can't use my fumblings, I ...
Read more

tidying

I want to have a space where I fit comfortably, both body and mind. I do not feel that I have ever experienced any significant level of comfort from my environment. Of course, like most people, I do own a couple of items that always make me feel better in a 'security blanket' manner. However, it is always a struggle to find them in the midst of the crowded atmosphere that has always been my house. Unnecessary stressors significantly outnumber the happy items. Maybe this is due to the lack of cleanliness and/or the excess items that surround me, and the people I have lived with, but regardless as to why, I never thought my house could be a source of pleasure, comfort, and energy. But maybe it can. I want to have a space where I fit comfortably, both in body and mind. For the first time, I have my own place, for Husband and me (yay us!!). Perhaps we can make our house a happy place. I want our belongings to be important and to fit comfortably within our home. No more forcing....
Read more

yourself and others

My little sister has always seemed older than her years. Life is very simple to her and even the most complex of situations are black and white -- and she knows she's right. Though usually her insite lacks a comprehensive understanding of circumstances, sometimes her causal comments are worthy of considerable thought. A particularly provoking comment arose while she listened to me stress about staying in contact with relatives and friends. There were phone calls I hadn't returned, emails to which I hadn't replied, and 'thank you' cards that I hadn't mailed. She speaks to me in the fashion of a old sage who is slightly dumbfounded by the young ones lack of understanding. "Sissy...there is always someone else to call." She wasn't referring to my endless list of relatives and friends that were deserving of my attention. She was referring to my relatives and friends -- that they were the 'someone else' who could call me. Her wo...
Read more