deciphering the days

I'm afraid. I've been ignoring it. Pretending like I'm not. Blaming it on lack of finances or hiding behind the name of practicality. But it's not that. It's that I am afraid. I was afraid of the responsibility of being a chemist. So I became a teacher instead. I was afraid of having a kayak (how stupid is that?!?). It would cost too much money for the kayak and paddles and life jacket and car rack, where would I store it, what if it was too heavy for me and I couldn't put it on the car, what if I waste our money on a hobby I don't really care about, what if this is just a summer fad? What if I fail at my hobbies and waste my time and money? What if I am just becoming a Jack of All Trades and Master of None where I am not really good at anything but dump resources on everything and anything? I was afraid of playing the piano. What if I was no good at it, what if wasted money on a keyboard that I never used, where would I put it, what if I don't...

No. Not my husband. My best friend from middle school. A wise mentor once spoke to me concerning our friendship and general life patterns. She said that my best friend desperately needed to learn her independence, that she couldn't just follow me around, living wherever I lived, doing life however I did. She said that my friend could not forever keep overlaying her life on mine. One day I would move on to a place that my friend couldn't follow, and hopefully my friend could manage on her own. And of course she was right (and still is for that matter). But sometimes, just for a moment, I think she was wrong. I think... it is not my friend that follows me around. It is not my friend who overlays her life with mine. It is not her that cannot exist without our security blanket of a friendship. It's me. I don't want to be without her. I will keep intertwining our lives, offering my home the second she looks for one, providing a space, welcoming and supporting my fr...

Hubby and I will be travelling soon on our first substantial international trip together (the Bahamas for a three day vacation aren't exactly the same). We are going to Japan for a couple of weeks and a lot's on my mind as we prep for our rapidly approaching departure. First, since this is my first trip to another country, everyone seems to have something to say about it. And, not surprisingly if you know me at all, I do not appreciate most of the comments. Particularly the ones like, 'This is your first time experiencing another culture?!? Oh it will be so good for you!' Like, okay Linda, maybe I haven't been all over the world like you have, but I'm not some sort of egocentric, narcissistic, baboon who is clueless about the rest of the world. I have lived within many different cultures, and have spent years in a culture where I was, without doubt, the minority. For that matter, as a high school teacher, half my job is trying to connect with students who ar...

My father played D&D growing up. He loves to watch Lord of the Rings and never passes on a exciting and adventurous narrative. My older brother too. He reads fantasy and science fiction books constantly. He really wants to write his own novel one day. There are many stories floating around in his mind that he longs to put on paper. Not surprisingly, my husband falls into this category as well. We have a Star Wars pillow on the couch. Once (or twice) a month, we have a group of bards and rogues and elves and healers at our house eager to vanquish the demonic woes. Additionally, there is D&D night at his friend's house, not to mention the two (or is it three?) live streams that he assists. Even board games that encourage role playing and storytelling are some of his favorites. Plus, video games with detailed character development and plot lines - we have a shelf full! Not me though. I don't read very much fiction, fantasy, or sci-fi. I have never played a first pers...