deciphering the days

Okay, here it comes: my contribution to the already polluted conversations about Death Note (the anime/manga series). A few things first though: There are so many spoilers ahead. I hold nothing back. I recently realized that I am in fact...a fanatic. But a strange kind of fanatic. I don't have any posters, spirit wear, nor do I have a Death Note notebook of my own. However, I spend waaaaay too much time thinking about this story. I have watched the series multiple times and have read reviews, posts, musings, appraisals, and critiques. I listen to the musical (it's awful by the way, but the words are significant). I have analyzed (and overanalyzed) the story and consulted several people about its moral dilemmas. Of course, there are a couple ways in which my Death Note education lacks: One, I haven't read the manga (I know, this is a big one, but I want to read it in Japanese! So I have to finish learning Japanese...) and two, I haven't watched the Netflix live a...

Acts 17: 24-28 "The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth...he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live in all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him. Yet He is actually not far from each of us, for 'in Him we live and move and have our being.'" ***** Do you know what this means? It means that we weren't born in a random year, place, time, era, religion, culture, or family. God determined our allotted periods and the boundaries of our dwelling place - for the purpose of finding and knowing Him. Did you know that? In all of the time, in all of the places, with all of the people...It is here and now that I am most likely to know God. To have a relationship with my Creator. I do not have a greater advantag...

High-schooler. What an interesting stage of life. Makes for an interesting group of people too. I learn their names. I learn their academic strengths and weaknesses. I learn about their family, life, interests, and hobbies. Last night I went to watch them perform in a dance recital. Not like ballet - but hip-hop and street dancing. I thought I would watch them dance, recognize a few of them, and leave with objective critique of the performance. Will I ever learn myself? There they were: my students, of past and present. I recognized a lot of them. They were on stage - they were amazing! They worked so hard - I could tell! They danced and moved with such passion! I cheered them on! I couldn't believe their talent! ...I also teared up during the first song.... Seriously. What is wrong with me??? What was the emotion I was feeling? Pride? Was I that proud of them? I kept leaning over to Husband, pointing out students, telling him their name and what they are like as pe...

My alarm goes off and I'm not sure how, but I get up. I get dressed. I eat something and get on the public transportation. I go to class. As soon as I can, I come back home and go to sleep before work. My grades are dropping. I don't like that. I haven't gone grocery shopping. I don't care. My roommate is suicidal. I go to meetings about suicide prevention. I talk to a counselor. Not about myself, about my suicidal roommate. I should have talked about myself. I'm not happy. I smile for everyone. I can't fall asleep. I sleep all the time. I can't get out of bed. I am never late to class or work. I add up all the time I spend in class, plus the recommended time for working on school outside of class, plus the hours at work. There are not that many hours in the week. I barely eat. It's almost night and I'm in bed. I need to study. I can't sleep but I'm tired. It happens. Again. It has every night this week. I'm laying on my back, fal...