broken marriages

"Have you spoken to Joshua* and Marie* recently? Do you keep up with them?" inquires a good friend of mine?

Being very fond of Joshua and Marie, I reply, "Unfortunately, I haven't spoken to them in a while but Husband was going to have breakfast with Joshua last week! I don't know if they did. Why? What's new and awesome with the Smiths*?"

"Oh. I am guessing you haven't heard...they are getting a divorce."

It was one of those moments where literally everything stopped. My friend kept talking but I wasn't listening. Divorce? That is literally impossible. No, I don't mean 'figuratively.' I mean 'literally.' These two are my role models for life, relationships, fellowship, joy, spirituality - the list goes on! These two are solid Christians with real relationships with God. They have been instrumental in mine and my Husband's relationship. These people are inspiring - to everyone they meet! They are down to earth and real! They walk through life with people - REAL LIFE! The nitty-gritty, hard core, challenging parts of life. They aren't perfect but they set the example of what Christianity looks like!

Nope. They aren't getting a divorce. My friend heard wrong. That had to be it. I start listening to her again...

"I am sorry to drop this on you, but her family is far away - Marie doesn't have any family here. Maybe you could reach out to her to see if she needs support?"

"Yes of course," I mumble through disbelief. "Wait!" I say. I was starting to remember the things she said when I wasn't listening. Something about who announced the divorce to the church small group - why did they announce it like that? - why did she word it like that? Discrepancies seemed to appear - good! That's means it's more likely to not be true. I asked clarifying questions. I wished I hadn't. Are you suggesting he had an affair?!?!? There's a better chance of the moon plummeting toward Earth and crashing into Australia!...right?

I called my husband on the way home and cried. They have only been married for a couple years - three maybe? If they can't make it work - who can??

I texted Marie and day or two later. She replied, grateful for my offerings, but not taking me up on any of them. I cried even harder. I was completely expecting her to say I was wrong. That I heard wrong. That it was all a nasty rumor. She didn't deny the divorce...so was it true?

I have cried to God - screamed to God.

"FATHER! FATHER! WHY?! HOW? THESE WERE YOUR PEOPLE WERE THEY NOT?!!? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? IF THEY CANNOT DO IT, THEN HOW CAN I?? HOW DO I HELP THEM - DO I HELP THEM? FATHER - YOUR PEOPLE! YOUR PEOPLE ARE HURTING!!"

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I know we are supposed to put our faith in Him and Him alone. I didn't mean to put faith in these people. But we walked and lived with them. We supported each other! I thought we did. But I had no idea. Of what? I don't know. Anything apparently.

I don't know what any of this means. I can't yet comprehend the seeds of doubt that will come from this. I can't imagine what they are going through. I can't wrap my head around this.

When Hubby and I were engaged, I was concerned about our future marriage ending in a divorce. Not for any particular reason, but just because that's what I see around me. When asking for advice, a person I trust said, "You have as good of as chance as anyone. You have God, a Christian support group, and you are both reasonable people."

The Smith's had all that too.

Kind Father, please meet me here. Please help the Smith's and heal them both - whatever that means. Please protect my marriage. Please go before me and my husband and keep us in your will. I am not enough. 



*No, their names aren't actually Joshua and Marie Smith

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