deciphering the days

Occasionally I feel the need to write about my family (which you know if you have ready any of my other posts). But more often than not, I do not actually publish what I write about them. I walk a very fine line between needing to process and...complaining. I don't want to loathe in self pity and write pages and pages of hurtful and emotionally inspired works. But I still desire to describe my family and my relationship with them... The following is my family in memes and pictures and posts, etc. Not necessarily capturing their essence, but rather when I see it, I think of them. I will continue to update it as more arrive... Mother: (except this one - this one captures my mother's essence) Father: (I feel like I should tell him this...) Older Brother: (my favorites of his picks. they both reflect his occupation and struggles with mental health)          Younger Brother: (my pick based on his humor and tattoos) (his picks)   Young...

I do not feel like I fit in with my family anymore. It is a very strange feeling. We grew up in the deep southern country. Booksmarts we not considered as useful as street smarts. We 'loved everybody' but our way of life was the best.   Staying   was more valuable than   going . Everyone in their right mind participated in the sweet tea drinking, southern baptist, animal raising, country folk way of life. ...yeah...not so much my thing anymore... I live in and love the city. I am a first generation college graduate - with a chemistry degree no less (growing up, the word 'scientist' was synonymous with people who were 'we-came-from-monkeys-atheist' and who 'make-up-nonsense-from-their-make-believe-lab.'). I am currently teaching in a public school.  My schedule is full. My husband and my friends are very different from me and each other. My faith has broadened denominationally. I love cultural foods - my favorite part is wh...

I am still here. Still breathing. What an interesting year. 2017 Me and My Love: Married. Moved. New Job for Me (a real one this time!). New Friends. New Hobbies. New Things. New Styles. Life is Good. New. And Good. Married is Good. My Family: Brother in the Marines. Drinking. Tatted. Smoking. (should I have taught him more?) Older Brother Moved. Mental Struggles. Marital Struggles. (I recommend a therapist) Parents Divorced. (I quite answering the phone for a while) Sister Lives with Father. Loves New School. (one of the few silver linings this year) Father Smoking (seriously - do you have to have a destructive force in your life?) Mother Engaged. Set 2017 Wedding Date. Father's Friend is Groom. Yikes. (this is worth of an entire blog post...) Brothers Stressing over Wedding. (then why are you going?) Teaching Brothers about Mother. (what do one sided relationships actually mean?) Bitter over My Parent's Life Choices. Brothers Not Going to Wedding (mi...

seek and you will find husband searches and doesn't find then he doubts i don't doubt i don't search. i don't find i don't question His goodness but i don't search. i am prideful what is husband searching for and not finding what am i ignoring why don't i search why doesn't he find seek and you will find