the greatest of these

They say the greatest of these is love.

I just wish that love was all it took to keep people on this earth. That love was enough to win battles. 

But death doesn't care if you are loved. 

Love isn't enough to keep my cousin with mental health issues alive. They said, "if he just new how much we loved him, would he have reconsidered?" Love isn't enough when comforting my aunt, who believes self-harm removes you from God's love. All I can say is: If we loved him this much, how much more must God love him. But I wonder, if love isn't enough. 

Love isn't enough to keep the unborn child in the womb; not even a mom who prayed and prayed for a baby, cried at the positive test, and cried when the reality of loss hit. We cried together in the classroom, before she wiped the tears and went back to teaching everyone else's children.

A mother's love for her children is not enough to keep her from the manic swings and the depressive swings. From kicking us out of the house through her screams. To get us a proper education. To keep my siblings away from thoughts of self-harm. Love isn't going to be enough to bring us together over the holidays.

The church preaches of God's love. And maybe one day God's love will prevail. But on earth, it doesn't reach the depression, the anger, the hopelessness, the wanted, the loved. The love we have for each other doesn't either.

If love is all it took to keep people on this earth, we would have more cousins. More brothers. More babies. Bigger families. 

The greatest of these is love. 

And it isn't enough.



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