self-actualization

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Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

I first learned about it during my time at the community college, in psych class. The highest tier, self-actualization, was inspiring. Getting there was my goal. But I greatly misunderstood where 'there' was.

I am sure I will laugh at myself in years to come for saying this now, but I feel like I have reached a point where I have become reasonably self-aware. I have learned a lot about my personality, my tendencies, and general traits. I can usually predict how I will react in certain situations.

But here's the catch.

I haven't been able to do anything about it.

For example, when I realize that I'm going into a situation where I will likely be short tempered and have my patience tried, I think "Well if I know it's coming, I can do something about it." And then the situation comes and I don't do anything about. Nothing useful at least.

It's annoying.

'Being aware' and 'actually being able to do something about it' are two very different things.

I really thought that once I could see my own vices, I would just magically be able to fix them.

Ha!

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