deciphering the days

Okay so I did it! Last January I ordered I keyboard from Amazon, got a few instructional books and some sheet music, and spent lots of time on the phone with my best friend (who incidentally has a masters in music). Queue a month or two later, I wasn't making much progress so I bought a book for teaching kindergarteners to play the piano... Queue August, still not much progress - but I started piano lessons!! I've only had one lesson so far, so of course I can't play anything yet. And I am basically still working through the kindergartener book, but instead of bright colors and farm animals, it's neutral colors and for the "older beginner." But it's progress! And now I actually have specific things to practice when I sit down to play, and accountability, and something to do when I get home. And all those things are nice.

 image credit:  https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I first learned about it during my time at the community college, in psych class. The highest tier, self-actualization, was inspiring. Getting there was my goal. But I greatly misunderstood where 'there' was. I am sure I will laugh at myself in years to come for saying this now, but I feel like I have reached a point where I have become reasonably self-aware. I have learned a lot about my personality, my tendencies, and general traits. I can usually predict how I will react in certain situations. But here's the catch. I haven't been able to do anything about it. For example, when I realize that I'm going into a situation where I will likely be short tempered and have my patience tried, I think "Well if I know it's coming, I can do something about it." And then the situation comes and I don't do anything about. Nothing useful at least. It...