pride

The childhood home was always messy. Literally and figuratively.

I have made it a point to have a tidy home; literally and figuratively.

If you have read any of my posts you know I am a 'Konvert' and have been tidying  my house according to the Japanese author.

I have decreased my possessions substantially. I can find my belongings. I know where things go. I never really have to clean.

I pride myself on this.

To the point of becoming prideful.

Visiting my relatives (which I have done a lot of over the summer) always stresses me. This is partially because of the utterly chaotic belongings mixed with...Dirt. Grime. Animal Hair. Weird Smells. Dirty Dishes.

'My house is so much cleaner,' I think.

Hmmm. Something about pride and falling?

I knew the disintegrating basement of our rental home had a tendency to leak. It also rained a lot this summer. I mentioned to the Hubby that we should probably clean out the cardboard downstairs, as it was likely wet. We procrastinated for a couple weeks and then decided to 'check it out' one Saturday afternoon.

"Likely wet??"

Understatement of 2018.

Let's just say it took HOURS to clean. Half way through I went to Home Depot and bought a dry/wet shop vac. The water. The standing water. The cardboard. The mushy stuff that used to be cardboard. The mold. Everywhere. The stench. We were wearing masks and gloves and glasses. We hauled off nine (!!) large black trash bags of cardboard, packing material, and generally disgusting unidentifiable substances.

I was indignant. I was embarrassed.

How could this happen in my house?!!? I clean! I tidy! I would expect this in one of my parents house - but not mine!

 But it was in mine. I tried making excuses as to how it got that bad. It wasn't my fault, that was for sure.

But it was my fault. I didn't take care of things. I let germs and mold and bugs fester in my house. Uhg.

I thought my house perfect or close to it; there were still a couple of topics that need KonMari-ed, but really - I was so close my house was practically perfect. I thought myself incapable of a mess.

After I finally acknowledged the downstairs disaster and my involvement in it's formation, I realized how prideful I had been.

Thinking myself and my house as a better home because floor was swept and the kitchen table cleared. Thinking myself so far extended from the lifestyle of my family that I would be untouchable from mess.

I wondered how this experience should/would alter my view of my parents' homes. I wondered if my judgements would slow. Then I thought...

Yes, but their houses are SOOO gross - ALWAYS. They don't even try to clean up and do better. Perhaps part of my house was messy, but I fixed it. I have now rid my basement of all things not plastic and it's like it never happened - it can't happen again! Now, certainly, my house is perfect and incapable of mess. 

 Did I learn nothing? Is this experience not going to change anything? In fact, I stand to become even more prideful. How is that even possible?

Uhg.

I believe. Help my unbelief. (Mark 9:24b ESV)

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