awaken my soul

If you read the post called 'seek and you will find' you know that Hubby and I are indeed searching for God, or in my case, not searching and not sure why. We are each on our own path, and yet we are together.

My journey really began a few months ago.

I was looking for a way to organize my jewelry. I don't particularly have a lot, but what I do have was messily stored. A friend told me that Hobby Lobby had some cute methods of hanging jewelry AND they had a sale going on. So I went and found what I was looking (link to Hobby Lobby):

Awaken My Soul Pallet Wood Wall Decor with Hooks

It was functional and a much better alternative to my then current method of jewelry in vases (aka a tangled mess). Painted script on wood pallets and "antique brass hooks" do not exactly match my style or the design of the bedroom, but I didn't hesitate. As I walked to the register, I prayed, "Please Father. Awaken my soul." Though the wall hanging came with a long list of possible uses, I hung it above my dresser, adorned with beads, pearls, chains, and bracelets. And yet, I use it the most to pray, "Awaken my soul."

Shortly after the purchase, it occurred to me that the reason it spoke to my heart so much.



That's why.

That's why I seek but don't find.

My soul.

It's empty yet doesn't crave.

Me.

I am empty. But I do crave.

My soul.

It doesn't want; I am tired.

But I do want!

But I want shallowly.

On the surface.

My mind wants.

But my soul is asleep.

Awaken my soul.



And thus I began the journey of awakening my soul. I have prayed. Not enough. Not consistently. I made the decision to find another church. My husband and I had talked about it and visited other churches. But were still on the fence of uncertainty. Suddenly I was certain. My soul would stay asleep unless I deliberately changed. So I left that church. I am still church searching.

Along the path of said soul awakening, three songs have been given to me. I am generally not a person who properly appreciates music or responds emotionally, but this time it's different. For some reason, these three modern Christian songs (I usually find hymns to be more meaningful) have elicited emotions and new form worship.


Thy Will by Hillary Scott (YouTube Link). She sings "I know you see me. I know you hear me, Lord. Your plans are for me...When I try to pray all I’ve got is hurt and these four words. Thy will be done, Thy will be done." When I try to pray and nothing comes, this is what I pray.

Reckless Love by Cory Asbury (YouTube Link). I know people have a lot of mixed emotions about this song because God isn't 'reckless,' but nevertheless, I love this song. My favorite lyrics are the chorus and second verse: "Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God. Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine. I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away. Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah. When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me. You have been so, so good to me. When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me. You have been so, so kind to me."

No Longer Slaves by Bethel Music (YouTube Link). Though I enjoy this song but it doesn't 'speak' to me until the lines "You split the sea so I could walk right through it. My fears were drowned in perfect love. You rescued me so I could stand and sing: I am a child of God." I don't know why, but this stops everything else, and I focus on Him.


Our Kind Father, these songs, prayer, a small group Bible study, a new Christian fried, the devotional Women in the Word (by She Reads Truth), and church hunting have all started the process of awakening my soul.

I believe. Help my unbelief.      Mark 9:24b (ESV)

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