be still
"I have a naturally peaceful nature," I tell myself. I am calm. I always do really well with the 24 or 48 hour 'technology free' days; my college psych/education classes assigned these and they're exactly what they sound like. Some people really struggled with the assignment, but not me. I don't struggle with technology dependence or multitasking. So I tell myself.
In psych class, we talked about multitasking and how people say it's a bad idea and it diminishes their productivity, and yet everyone thinks they are an exceptional being who is good at multitasking. I probably do that too, but I'm not dysfunctional about it. So I tell myself.
I don't think I even multitask that much. I don't often listen to music while completing homework nor do I work on my computer while talking on the phone. Therefore, I must be good at limiting my multitasking. Go me! So I tell myself.
As many know, I am having recent struggles with Bible reading and prayer time. I struggle to make it happen or to make it meaningful. Certainly it's because of a recent struggle with depression, or perhaps because I am just not keeping to a routine. So I tell myself.
But recently Kind Father has been telling me something different.
Be still, and know that I am God.
Psalms 46:10. I keep hearing it. Only when I take a moment to ponder this verse do I also find myself in prayer and in Word.
Be still, and know that I am God.
I can do that. Just this morning I read my Bible for ten minutes, so I must already be getting better at this being still stuff. So I tell myself.
And then I was given a book. A philosophy book that requires every single aspect of my thought if I am to understand any sentence anywhere in the entire book!! When I read simple books, I do not notice my distractions. This book, however, is different. I cannot stay focused even though it is a fascinating read.
I know have no doubt - I was telling myself a lie before. I am easily distracted. I am not quiet at all. My brain multitasks in undesirable ways - incessantly!! Perhaps I did teach my body to stop working so much, but my mind is in sad shape. I can hardly read a paragraph of the book without losing my place in the logical progression of the book.
I think about dinner. I think about friends. I think about plans. I think about what other people would think about what I am reading. But I don't think about what I am reading - which is what I want to be doing! I keep telling myself to focus - to quiet my mind and soul.
...It's very difficult thing to do...
Be still, and know that I am God.
This book has proven to me that I am not as still as I thought I was, and I am certainly not being still with God. There are unresolved issues in my life, which could be making my morning quiet time difficult, but only because I have not rested in His presence.
When I am still with Him, I do not fear my past. I do not fear the monsters that lurk in the mist between my soul and my mind. I can think about them. I can rest in God.
So how do I still my mind?
I. Have. No. Idea.
But I will start with practice. I will continue reading the book that requires my full attention.
I will also ask Him what it means to be still.
I have four more weeks of my summer. There are tasks I must complete, but I will practice completing them with both a still body and a still mind. Even simple things like folding my laundry: I can think about the laundry, or be deliberate concerning what I do think about - and that way I will learn to keep my mind still! It's a wonderful theory! So I tell myself.
In psych class, we talked about multitasking and how people say it's a bad idea and it diminishes their productivity, and yet everyone thinks they are an exceptional being who is good at multitasking. I probably do that too, but I'm not dysfunctional about it. So I tell myself.
I don't think I even multitask that much. I don't often listen to music while completing homework nor do I work on my computer while talking on the phone. Therefore, I must be good at limiting my multitasking. Go me! So I tell myself.
As many know, I am having recent struggles with Bible reading and prayer time. I struggle to make it happen or to make it meaningful. Certainly it's because of a recent struggle with depression, or perhaps because I am just not keeping to a routine. So I tell myself.
But recently Kind Father has been telling me something different.
Be still, and know that I am God.
Psalms 46:10. I keep hearing it. Only when I take a moment to ponder this verse do I also find myself in prayer and in Word.
Be still, and know that I am God.
I can do that. Just this morning I read my Bible for ten minutes, so I must already be getting better at this being still stuff. So I tell myself.
And then I was given a book. A philosophy book that requires every single aspect of my thought if I am to understand any sentence anywhere in the entire book!! When I read simple books, I do not notice my distractions. This book, however, is different. I cannot stay focused even though it is a fascinating read.
I know have no doubt - I was telling myself a lie before. I am easily distracted. I am not quiet at all. My brain multitasks in undesirable ways - incessantly!! Perhaps I did teach my body to stop working so much, but my mind is in sad shape. I can hardly read a paragraph of the book without losing my place in the logical progression of the book.
I think about dinner. I think about friends. I think about plans. I think about what other people would think about what I am reading. But I don't think about what I am reading - which is what I want to be doing! I keep telling myself to focus - to quiet my mind and soul.
...It's very difficult thing to do...
Be still, and know that I am God.
This book has proven to me that I am not as still as I thought I was, and I am certainly not being still with God. There are unresolved issues in my life, which could be making my morning quiet time difficult, but only because I have not rested in His presence.
When I am still with Him, I do not fear my past. I do not fear the monsters that lurk in the mist between my soul and my mind. I can think about them. I can rest in God.
So how do I still my mind?
I. Have. No. Idea.
But I will start with practice. I will continue reading the book that requires my full attention.
I will also ask Him what it means to be still.
I have four more weeks of my summer. There are tasks I must complete, but I will practice completing them with both a still body and a still mind. Even simple things like folding my laundry: I can think about the laundry, or be deliberate concerning what I do think about - and that way I will learn to keep my mind still! It's a wonderful theory! So I tell myself.
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