kind
Over the last couple of years, the vast majority of my prayers begin with the words, "Kind Father." A friend of mine prayed like that and I picked it up along the way. It is a nice reminder of two obvious things: 1) God is kind and 2) He is my father. Simple enough. Perhaps that is one of the first times God intrigued me with the idea of kindness. Since that time, almost every time I am concerned about bringing my thoughts before God I hear:
But I am kind.
These constant reminders of God's kindness has left me to ponder what kindness is, and how I should be kind to others.
I am reading 'The Love Dare.' The second devotional is focused on kind love. According to this source, kindness consists of gentleness, helpfulness, willingness, and initiative.
A dear friend of mine recently said something to the effect of, "Marry someone who is kind to you. If he is kind to you and kind in his heart, then it will be easier to be kind to him, and your marriage will be much easier." That word was present again.
Kind.
Aside from my prayer life, the recent application of this concept has been on my dear boyfriend of three years. What does it mean to truly be kind to him? Recently that has meant refraining from harsh comments, speaking positively of him, and not stating anything that I would not want stated about myself. There have also been some actions such as sending encouraging texts or giving a back rub, but long distance limits some of my actions. Anyway, I'm getting side tracked.
I also told him about my ideas of kindness, and what I thought it looked like to be kind and he has shared some of his thoughts. I have pondered the effects of being kind and if it was really all it was cracked up to be. Sure, it made us be thoughtful and intentional in some areas, which is a good thing. However, it also makes us sound and feel a little cheesy and occasionally the forced gesture is not received extremely well by the other party. So I wondered where it was getting us.
So last night, my boy and I are having an...altercation. We don't really fight, because we are too passive aggressive. Mostly we do annoying things and say unhelpful things with feigned helpfulness, all in order to express our dismay. We are professionals at jingling car keys, putting on shoes, and even drinking water AT each other (...serious talent right there...). Anyway, we were having a tift over being late, among other things. As we headed to the car he was walking as fast as he could, while I was walking as slow as I could, taking a shorter path, so as to still beat him to the car in our unspoken race (yeah I know...it's petty). So we get to the car. Instead of jumping in the car, cranking it, and putting it in gear just to see if he could make me rush...
He walked around the car, passing his door.
He opened my door.
He always opens my door.
But I wasn't expecting it this time. He was frustrated at me - and rightfully so. I wasn't making the situation easier, or being kind to him.
The furrows on his forehead softened as he opened the car door. My glaring eyes relaxed. As I accepted his kindness, I felt foolish for pushing him.
The fight was over.
I was left thinking, is that kindness Kind Father? Is that the kindness You show too? I can be obstinate and you are still opening doors for me and hearing me. Even when I am undeserving?
I am never deserving.
But my Father in Heaven and this man on earth both show me favor when I do nothing to earn it. That is the kindness I want to have. The type where grace is intertwined. The type where external frustrations do not alter the internal respect and love that is shown. That is it. The Godly kindness I wish to reflect.
"I believe; help my unbelief!" Mark 9:24b (ESV)
But I am kind.
These constant reminders of God's kindness has left me to ponder what kindness is, and how I should be kind to others.
I am reading 'The Love Dare.' The second devotional is focused on kind love. According to this source, kindness consists of gentleness, helpfulness, willingness, and initiative.
A dear friend of mine recently said something to the effect of, "Marry someone who is kind to you. If he is kind to you and kind in his heart, then it will be easier to be kind to him, and your marriage will be much easier." That word was present again.
Kind.
Aside from my prayer life, the recent application of this concept has been on my dear boyfriend of three years. What does it mean to truly be kind to him? Recently that has meant refraining from harsh comments, speaking positively of him, and not stating anything that I would not want stated about myself. There have also been some actions such as sending encouraging texts or giving a back rub, but long distance limits some of my actions. Anyway, I'm getting side tracked.
I also told him about my ideas of kindness, and what I thought it looked like to be kind and he has shared some of his thoughts. I have pondered the effects of being kind and if it was really all it was cracked up to be. Sure, it made us be thoughtful and intentional in some areas, which is a good thing. However, it also makes us sound and feel a little cheesy and occasionally the forced gesture is not received extremely well by the other party. So I wondered where it was getting us.
So last night, my boy and I are having an...altercation. We don't really fight, because we are too passive aggressive. Mostly we do annoying things and say unhelpful things with feigned helpfulness, all in order to express our dismay. We are professionals at jingling car keys, putting on shoes, and even drinking water AT each other (...serious talent right there...). Anyway, we were having a tift over being late, among other things. As we headed to the car he was walking as fast as he could, while I was walking as slow as I could, taking a shorter path, so as to still beat him to the car in our unspoken race (yeah I know...it's petty). So we get to the car. Instead of jumping in the car, cranking it, and putting it in gear just to see if he could make me rush...
He walked around the car, passing his door.
He opened my door.
He always opens my door.
But I wasn't expecting it this time. He was frustrated at me - and rightfully so. I wasn't making the situation easier, or being kind to him.
The furrows on his forehead softened as he opened the car door. My glaring eyes relaxed. As I accepted his kindness, I felt foolish for pushing him.
The fight was over.
I was left thinking, is that kindness Kind Father? Is that the kindness You show too? I can be obstinate and you are still opening doors for me and hearing me. Even when I am undeserving?
I am never deserving.
But my Father in Heaven and this man on earth both show me favor when I do nothing to earn it. That is the kindness I want to have. The type where grace is intertwined. The type where external frustrations do not alter the internal respect and love that is shown. That is it. The Godly kindness I wish to reflect.
"I believe; help my unbelief!" Mark 9:24b (ESV)
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