deciphering the days

a beautiful image. a beautiful phrase. a beautiful feeling. a beautiful song. a beautiful moment. There is beauty everywhere, I thought (and perhaps not incorrectly). Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? And isn't there a Bible verse that says God makes beauty from ashes? I can find beauty in places where others cannot. These thoughts, though none blatantly incorrect and most of which would encourage and inspire the Christian, were twisted and abused and I used them to justify my sin. I was listening to a lot of the latest greatest pop culture music. I still do sometimes, but I don't mistake its message for beauty. I was looking at ungodly actions and telling myself that God would make beauty from ashes so being in 'ashes' was not so bad. I abused the message that beauty could be found anywhere - including in sinful situations. Instead, I thought I found beauty in sin. I began to hear these words: Sin is not beautiful. Keep looking for be...

My little sister has always seemed older than her years. Life is very simple to her and even the most complex of situations are black and white -- and she knows she's right. Though usually her insite lacks a comprehensive understanding of circumstances, sometimes her causal comments are worthy of considerable thought. A particularly provoking comment arose while she listened to me stress about staying in contact with relatives and friends. There were phone calls I hadn't returned, emails to which I hadn't replied, and 'thank you' cards that I hadn't mailed. She speaks to me in the fashion of a old sage who is slightly dumbfounded by the young ones lack of understanding. "Sissy...there is always someone else to call." She wasn't referring to my endless list of relatives and friends that were deserving of my attention. She was referring to my relatives and friends -- that they were the 'someone else' who could call me. Her wo...

I know what it's like to be ridiculously depressed and too anxious to breathe. I have also been faced with a situation where I genuinely pondered if I could live with the outcome. I thought to myself, "I now understand how people could kill themselves." I can still understand, but in a very different way. The Kind Father has shown so much mercy to me... My current roommate makes my third friend to express their fantasies of death to me. I have read books and gone to suicide prevention seminars. I have a list of "do's and don't's" for helping suicidal people. I have been told (so many times...) that I am ultimately not responsible for their actions. I have read the Christian articles with the most unhelpful advice of "you just need Jesus" and "being depressed is a choice - so just don't be depressed and read another Bible devotional instead." Thanks for nothing... I have struggled so much (and still do) with how to he...

I need to rant.... Who would look at a brand-new, first-time mama, with her couple-of-weeks-old baby, and tell her that this wasn't 'real life' and because one day her baby will sleep through the night? Or that she wasn't in the 'real world' yet because this new mama hasn't dealt with a PMS-ing teenage girl? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE! EVER! So why do so many people look at students (elementary, middle, high, college, I don't care - pick one) and tell them that their life isn't 'real life in the real world?' No, most high-school students do not pay their own bills. No, the later chapters of life probably don't include a bubble-sheet scantron for exams. Yes, there are aspects of life that are harder/easier/more complicated/more simplistic/more stressful/more relaxing/or just plain different. But that doesn't make the almost 25% of your life (if you stop at an undergraduate degree around 22-years-old and live well into your ninetie...