new teacher pressures - part 1 (of 3)
Well. I went from doing calculus three and inorganic chemistry to explaining basic arithmetic and the phase changes of water.
In this post (part 1) I will elaborate on my internal conflict as to whether I am should 'be a teacher' or find a different profession.
Yeah...probably shouldn't be a teacher.
Then again, my school loves me. My principal says he "cannot believe I am only a first year teacher." My supervising teacher said of me as a student teacher, "I was expecting the worst, and got the best." After my first year my AP and department head are asking that I take two leadership roles next year. The Special Education department head knows me by name and says I'm they love me as a co-taught teacher. I recently met a another teacher and they exclaimed, "Oh! It's great to meet you - I have heard so much about you - you have made quite an impression already!" That teacher wasn't even in the science department. Also, many of my students expressed that I was the only teacher that cared about them and that I made our class fun. My class is the only one they wouldn't skip. My first semester students come back to see me and say they miss being in our class. The teacher next door says that if a student isn't willing to work for me, they won't work for any teacher.
So now that my ego is inflated to inappropriate proportions....Maybe I should be a teacher. Maybe I do have what it takes to build meaningful relationships with students, to teach them about the central science, and to set a example of a healthy, functioning, and stable adult.
But let's be honest. I like calculus and determining inversion planes of molecules. I don't really like staring at a student waiting for them to type 3x4 into their calculator because they can't do mental math let alone the algebra rearrangements that are coming.
Nothing about this job is mentally challenging to me; it's hardly even stimulating. Don't get me wrong - I spend a great deal of time analyzing my classroom management and creating solutions for poor student behavior (more of that in Part 2). But those problems do not satiate my desire for differential equations.
On the flip side, this job does give me time to do those things outside of work. Usually I get off of work around three and I am home by four or four thirty. Which means I have about four hours in the afternoons to do as I please (aside from making dinner and such). Also, I have the summers off. I am not getting paid for the summer of course, but the vacation is nice (though the question remains: will I properly utilize this time to stimulate my brain? More on that in a later post).
Again, it's starting to sound like I shouldn't be a teacher...When the 'pros list' for the job that shapes the future minds of America contains 'getting off work' and 'not having to work' perhaps one should reevaluate one's profession...
...however...
I do like to teach!
I like helping the students who are sure they will fail chemistry; their self-confidence is so low and I make it my mission to raise it up!
I like to watch their faces as they brightly burn a magnesium firework. They excitedly tell me why it happens in hopes they can do it again.
I like watching them experiment.
I like teaching them stoichiometry - they don't think they can do it.
I love watching them succeed.
I care about their education (sometimes more than they do - see Part 2).
I care about their ability to function in this world and I care that they are valued and respected as people.
They need to know that someone believes in them and I am happy to be the believer!
So maybe I should be a teacher...
...but then again...
Inspirational speakers say that the GREAT teachers are always teachers. That they are always helping their students - they live to teach. They are called to teach. True teachers can't imagine doing anything but teaching. They carry around notebooks for all the good ideas they stumble across during their daily lives. They teach at home, at work, at church, at random moments in their life because it's all they care about - teaching! You see the mugs and decals: "I AM A TEACHER!" they proclaim. It is part of their essence.
I think back over my life and I have basically always been teaching. From my first internship as a camp leader to a college peer tutor to now...
...but here I am...teaching. Not because it is who I am. It is simply what I do. My job is that of a chemistry teacher.
Should it be? Shouldn't I have the burning desire to teach my entire life and not retire until I have to?
Actually.
I don't think that is even a possibility.
I think I would become that old, grumpy teacher who hates everyone and who everyone hates. I have to find a new profession if that happens....
But what about for now?
Not what I saw coming.
I'm not particularly thrilled about it either. Being a teacher seems much less glamorous than the scientist I imagined.
I'm not particularly thrilled about it either. Being a teacher seems much less glamorous than the scientist I imagined.
But it's not so bad either.
In this post (part 1) I will elaborate on my internal conflict as to whether I am should 'be a teacher' or find a different profession.
Already, it seems as I should take the new profession route as no one wants to ask their teacher "Why do you love teaching?" only to receive the response, "Actually, I'm not thrilled about it. But I guess it's not so bad either."
Furthermore, I strongly relate to both the worldly and crass caricatures below:
Furthermore, I strongly relate to both the worldly and crass caricatures below:
Yeah...probably shouldn't be a teacher.
Then again, my school loves me. My principal says he "cannot believe I am only a first year teacher." My supervising teacher said of me as a student teacher, "I was expecting the worst, and got the best." After my first year my AP and department head are asking that I take two leadership roles next year. The Special Education department head knows me by name and says I'm they love me as a co-taught teacher. I recently met a another teacher and they exclaimed, "Oh! It's great to meet you - I have heard so much about you - you have made quite an impression already!" That teacher wasn't even in the science department. Also, many of my students expressed that I was the only teacher that cared about them and that I made our class fun. My class is the only one they wouldn't skip. My first semester students come back to see me and say they miss being in our class. The teacher next door says that if a student isn't willing to work for me, they won't work for any teacher.
So now that my ego is inflated to inappropriate proportions....Maybe I should be a teacher. Maybe I do have what it takes to build meaningful relationships with students, to teach them about the central science, and to set a example of a healthy, functioning, and stable adult.
But let's be honest. I like calculus and determining inversion planes of molecules. I don't really like staring at a student waiting for them to type 3x4 into their calculator because they can't do mental math let alone the algebra rearrangements that are coming.
Nothing about this job is mentally challenging to me; it's hardly even stimulating. Don't get me wrong - I spend a great deal of time analyzing my classroom management and creating solutions for poor student behavior (more of that in Part 2). But those problems do not satiate my desire for differential equations.
On the flip side, this job does give me time to do those things outside of work. Usually I get off of work around three and I am home by four or four thirty. Which means I have about four hours in the afternoons to do as I please (aside from making dinner and such). Also, I have the summers off. I am not getting paid for the summer of course, but the vacation is nice (though the question remains: will I properly utilize this time to stimulate my brain? More on that in a later post).
Again, it's starting to sound like I shouldn't be a teacher...When the 'pros list' for the job that shapes the future minds of America contains 'getting off work' and 'not having to work' perhaps one should reevaluate one's profession...
...however...
I do like to teach!
I like helping the students who are sure they will fail chemistry; their self-confidence is so low and I make it my mission to raise it up!
I like to watch their faces as they brightly burn a magnesium firework. They excitedly tell me why it happens in hopes they can do it again.
I like watching them experiment.
I like teaching them stoichiometry - they don't think they can do it.
I love watching them succeed.
I care about their education (sometimes more than they do - see Part 2).
I care about their ability to function in this world and I care that they are valued and respected as people.
They need to know that someone believes in them and I am happy to be the believer!
So maybe I should be a teacher...
...but then again...
Inspirational speakers say that the GREAT teachers are always teachers. That they are always helping their students - they live to teach. They are called to teach. True teachers can't imagine doing anything but teaching. They carry around notebooks for all the good ideas they stumble across during their daily lives. They teach at home, at work, at church, at random moments in their life because it's all they care about - teaching! You see the mugs and decals: "I AM A TEACHER!" they proclaim. It is part of their essence.
I think back over my life and I have basically always been teaching. From my first internship as a camp leader to a college peer tutor to now...
...but here I am...teaching. Not because it is who I am. It is simply what I do. My job is that of a chemistry teacher.
Should it be? Shouldn't I have the burning desire to teach my entire life and not retire until I have to?
Actually.
I don't think that is even a possibility.
I think I would become that old, grumpy teacher who hates everyone and who everyone hates. I have to find a new profession if that happens....
But what about for now?
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